So now that I have decided for sure how how I want to live my life, what is next? I know this sounds really strange but, I am really not too concerned about my family, because my Mom has already figured it out, but how to tell my friends. When I make friends, they are almost always long term- I have known most of these girls since I was a child or in my early twenties and I am pretty sure that this is really going to be a shock. We have gone through weddings, divorces, babies and just about anything else you can think of.
I was on the phone with one of them today,and she wants to fix me up a friend of her husband, who is a very nice, successful guy, and he likes me, what girl in their right mind would not want that?!? Well, evidently me, I was just sitting there biting my lip, trying not to blurt out "Well, that would be great, but I like women" or "Seriously, I am not sleeping with another guy".
Are there greeting cards for this? I get announcements from my friends, wedding, birth, graduation, new homes and I send them a gift and congratulations for their success and happy occasion. Jane Doe would like to announce the start of her new life! With Women! Is there a registry for coming out? Well, if not there sure as hell should be.
Do I tell them over the phone and wait for the shocked silence on the other end of the line? Do I take the easy way out and send an email? I just want to be respectful and make this as easy on them as possible. Most people would say why do you care? Well, they have been good friends to me and while they know people who are gay, they do not even have any gay friends (that they know of). I do not even know where they stand on gays because they live in such a straight world it has never even come up. I really need help with this because I do not even know where to begin.
Why the urgency you ask? Well I am not sure if it has been like this for everyone who has gone through this but I think it just gets to a certain point where you have had enough lying and pretending and it starts to kind of drive you crazy.. "Grin and Nod" is what I like to call it what I do with my straight friends and relatives- for example when they say, "Oh so and so likes being single and just has not found the right guy"- grin and nod. "So and so is so independent and does not need anyone, she loves to do everything herself- grin and nod.
I do not expect them to get it, or to understand. How can I possibly expect them too? They all have their lives, their husbands and children, they do not have to live my life, I do. I just kind of hope they have the same compassion that I have had for them when they call me and cry for two hours over whatever crisis it is they are having. But I do know it is time, way past time for the truth.
