With all of this change of late, I have been evaluating a few relationships in my life. It is one of the hardest things in the world to see a friendship come to an end, but sometimes it is necessary. It is not something I take lightly and it does not have to be some big dramatic blowup, with people choosing sides. I have been doing a little research on this, because sometimes I can just be too sensitive, (I am a girl after all!) but it seems to be happening more and more-maybe they feel the same way I do. I have found several signs that it is time to call it quits.
1.Your friend takes advantage of your good nature. They know you are nice and do not make too big a deal about things and know you will let more things go because they are your friend. They push and push- "the give them an inch and they take a mile" syndrome.
2. A violation of trust. You trusted this person with your most personal secrets and they speak freely with others as if it were nothing because THEY do not think it is important. They do not use care with your trust.
3. Is only concerned with themselves and never pauses to consider anyone else. All they are concerned with is their timetable, their plans. No one else matters but them, they never think about how what they do affects others.
4. Leans on you but cannot take time to help or listen to your problems. Do they never ask how you are and if they do, never listen for an answer and always dominate the conversation with their agenda?
5. Saying belittling or insulting things to you. You are there for them no matter what and they say they are in your corner but there are the snide remarks made to and about you. Do they lift you up, just give you enough and then put you in "your place"?
I try not to read too much into things and think the best of people. I tend to let most things go because why start trouble over trivial things, but at one point all of these things, are no longer trivial. I believe Maya Angelou said "When people show you who they are, believe them".
I am a people pleaser and though not always successful, I want people to feel cared for and important, but at what point do I start to treat myself as I would treat someone else. Care for myself, treat myself like I am important? I was put on this earth to be a good person and a good friend, not a doormat.
Life is not tit for tat, and I do not expect that, but if I am there to be your cheerleader, sounding board, shoulder to cry on, never failing, no matter what the circumstances friend, I do expect care and respect back, I do not think that is too much to ask, or maybe in some cases it is...
