Strong Women
I have always thought of myself as a pretty strong, independent person. I have supported myself financially through good times and bad. Been responsible and accountable in my 20 year career in a mainly male dominated field, I am pretty proud of this. I can get in there and do battle with the best of them and not let anyone push me around. I have been a good friend and usually the last man standing when someone was going through a hard time, when everyone else did not have time or did not care. I have staying power and seem to come through things pretty unscathed.
I do have to tell you that I have recently met a group of women that can literally run circles around me. As I get to know them better and hear their life stories, they have really been through some serious trials and tribulations in their lives, some are still going through some hard things. I am amazed by their strength, conviction and staying power no matter what.
In the last few years, I have been kind of flailing. I had chosen this kind of self imposed exile when it comes to relationships. As I have said before, it is not because I could not get a date or people did not like me, I just made up my mind that until I was sure of what I wanted, I would not put anyone through my indecision again. So in the middle of this, my best friend since childhood passed away of cancer (and this person was the only one who knew about the gay thing for the longest time) and it really sent me into a tailspin. I have kind of felt like I have been drowning and gasping for air, that nothing in my world would ever be right again.
It is finally starting to turn around, I feel like I can take a breath again and it is not painful, I am ready to live again, which is what my friend would have wanted me to do anyway. Even though they they do not know it, I owe a lot if this to them, these beautiful, strong, crazy women. No matter what hell they have gone through they are going to laugh, sing, dance, and go kicking and screaming all of the way through it. Through these people I am finding my spirit again, something I thought I had lost.
Even though they do not know me very well, they have never treated me like an outsider, they always have a smile and a hug or a kind word and gone out of their way on numerous occasions to make me feel included. They make me laugh with their bold and raunchy sense of humor. Even if someone is having an off day or there is a conflict, they have a true and genuine affection for each other that is rare.
There are a few certain people that I think I have gotten to know pretty well and hope to continue to get to know better. The have opened up to me and trusted me with their secrets and let me into their world. I in turn have done the same, and it is not easy for me to open up and trust new people, or ask anyone for anything, but I am so glad that I have. No matter where life takes us, I will always be forever grateful to these people, they have made a difference in my life.
Although, not a religious person, I believe that people come into our lives for a reason. My favorite line of the Elton John song, "Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters" says "You stand at the edge while people run you through, I thank the Lord there's people out there like you". Well said.
