Well here is a topic that I am really passionate about, well that is an understatement, I actually get so mad I can barely see straight so here goes nothing...
What is it with women and the damn drama? Why can't people just keep their mouths shut and mind their own business? What is this thing- I hear so many people say, "Oh I hate drama and I do not talk about people, I cannot stand it" and not five minutes later they do exactly that. All I have to say is if you cannot walk the walk....
One person confides in someone they think is their friend (oohh, I won't tell anyone..), well you better be careful because pretty soon they are sharing your secret with someone else THEY consider a trustworthy friend. All of the sudden you are at the mercy of their judgement and then the person who they told, who are they going to tell, and how good is their judgementl? All of the sudden DRAMA, rumors flying, relationships damaged, hopefully not irreparably.
This was ok as a child, the gossip game, it was fun and harmless but as an adult there can be serious repercussions. You may think you know what is best for your "friend" and that you are helping them out, guess what? You are not, they just needed someone to listen at the time, they know what is best for them. You may have your advice and your opinions and that is great, but to take action that affects this persons relationships, is inexcusable, unless they are in serious danger, emotionally, physically, or financially. Put your ego and self righteousness aside and realize what you are going to do to this person that really trusted you and considered you a friend. Sometimes you just have to be there for your friends no matter what their decisions, you just have to stand there with your broom and dustpan and say when you need me to come help you pick up the pieces, I will be there asap, we've got this...
They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but what about the ones who do not have good intentions? You know the ones I am talking about, the passive aggressive, insecure, evil people that use information to cause a problem for their own benefit. The ones that are motivated by jealousy, who think maybe they are not getting the attention they once were, that they are in danger of someone moving in on their territory, whether it just be a friendship or romantic situation. Those are the really dangerous ones because they do not care what expense anyone else pays. I REALLY do not understand that whole dynamic, but I have seen it with my own eyes so I know it exists! Do they not understand there is room for everyone and no one is trying to steal your thunder?
And for the people that are the recipients of the rumor mill? Don't let random gossip and heresay affect your relationships. Go to the source, the person that it is about and ask them what is going on. Why are people so scared to do this? I guarantee that their story, the truth, would be totally different from what you might have heard. I think the discomfort of talking to someone about something serious is not half as uncomfortable than half truths and issues that get blown out of proportion. They would probably be pleasantly surprised and grateful that someone cared enough to get things out in the open and find out the real story.
I do not know why I thought I was too good to be included in this madness. I myself, have had people I do not even know, come up to me and say, you have been spending a lot of time with so and so, you were dancing with so and so, so and so had their arm around you, I saw you walk out the door together, are you dating, are you sleeping together?!? NO! We are friends and happen to enjoy each others company- do not try to make it into something that it is not and why do you feel the need to do so? Who are you and why would you care? Unless you see me pin them against the wall and stick my tongue down their throat, do not speculate on my relationship, it is none of your business. And if I were to do something like that, than talk all you want, because evidently I have welcomed your scrutiny, by doing it in public.
No one is perfect, everyone talks, but we all have to be careful, and be very particular with what we say. This can be a very hurtful thing- not only the betrayal by someone you trusted, but the embarrassment when you find out that half of the world knows your very personal business. Loose lips sink ships, well, sometimes you have to bail like hell, but hopefully all is not lost...
